1. At least once per entry you must mention a past boy/girlfriend, secret crush that you'll never ever get because your heart has been broken, or how your favorite band's music is "totally you". Acceptible bands/albums include: Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World (but only the early stuff, like Clarity) and Weezer's Pinkerton.
2. Every so often you must post an entry that talks about your friends, except you do not name names. You simply talk good or bad about them and let them guess if they're in there and where.
3. Anything remotely "embarrasing" that happens must immediately be turned into a rant because "your life sux and what's the point?"
4. You must pause every so often while typing, lest your emotions overcome you.
5. Try to mention how indie you are at every possible instance. For example: How many obscure bands do you know? Go to local concerts and remember every name, even if the band sucks. This way you can say, "Yeah, I like such and such, but no one has ever heard of them."
6. Name drop as much as possible.
7. Don't forget to include at least once per posting how a clique/group at your school "just doesn't understand," and every so often mention the fact that you are not emo. That drives the point home.
8. User icons with some kind of "I don't believe in love" or "I'm broken" message are great. Be sure to stock up!
9. Find the most sad looking smiley's possible and use them all in one day.
10. Use lyrics in your posts and subject lines as much as possible.
11. Never, EVER spellcheck.