1: The band must consist of all males. This is necessary since all true punk bands need to be hateful and be male.
2: The band must have at least one political song slamming the current president.
3: The band does not count unless it is signed to: Epitaph, Sub Pop, Nitro, Kung Fu, Sub City, Fueled By Ramen, Alternative Tentacles, Fat Wreck Chords, Burning Heart, or Hellcat. Extra points go to those who purchase records from subsidy labels within this list.
4: At least one member has to be shirtless all the time. Extra points goes to colored hair. Also you must abide by this and have to have had non natural colored hair at one point in your youth.
5: You must own at least one of the following band's T-Shirts: The Clash, The Ramones, The Queers, The Sex Pistols, The Dead Kennedy's, The Circle Jerks, The Exploited, or Black Flag.
6: You must have at least one Queers or Exploited button.
7: SXE is not real music.
8: Any and all those who try to preach of Drive Thru will be decapitated.
9: Skanking is wrong.
10: All major labels suck. Unless your band has been asked to sign to one. In this instance you would now be considered an alternative band.
11: You must have watched SLC Punk at least 29 times.
12: Piercings are obligatory. Extra points for those who did it themselves. Safety pins are credibility sponges.
13: You are an alcoholic. No questions asked.
14: You hate authority. All authority. And if you are listening to me that means you see me as an authority on this. In that case you are WRONG and shall be hurt.
15: You only play guitar. Bass and drums are for wusses. Everyone knows that punks only play guitar so they can be about the music.
16: You must subscribe to at least three local underground zines and one nationally syndicated zine.
17: You are obligated to hate your favorite band once their popularity exceeds 20 people. If they are opening for a bigger band it is safe to selfishly assume that no other person at the concert likes that band and only you are there for them.
18: If you attend a concert you must tell everyone that you are there to see the opening band.
19: Hot Topic is the only place you shall shop. And you must dislike The Gap and all other prep establishments (Even though The Gap owns Hot Topic)
20: Your CD collection consists of more comps than actual albums.
21: You are not allowed to like anything weaker than Agnostic Front.
22: Plaid pants... Gotta have some of those...
23: All articles of clothing must have at least two spike studs.
24: You must have a pair of Old School Vans shoes.
25: Body fat percentage must be below healthy range.